I’ve started to write more about my anxiety, which has introduced a lot more feedback from readers, which I love and appreciate. Recently, my friend Alex asked me the perfect question.
How do you handle having that level of anxiety and continue to do all the things you have to do in everyday life?
I gave him the short version, but the long answer is an unusually sappy post so what better day than Valentine’s Day! There are multiple answers to this question. Obviously, my medication helps tremendously, but it only does so much. Anxiety manifests itself in so many ways, and puts the body through so much, you often stay exhausted. I still have a full-time job and a kid to take care of, neither of which care how tired I am or what I’m freaking out about.
The main reason I stay on my feet and keep afloat, is simply Kent. He is my ultimate support system, and never waivers in that. He knows when I need a moment to breath and calm down, he knows when I’m trying to hold it together and not show it, he knows when I’m about lose my ever-loving mind. How do I know this?
This man knows me better than I know myself. He picks up on my mannerisms and body language and knows when I just need to hear Ray Lamontagne on the radio, or if I’m just cranky and hungry. He gets me pizza if that’s the case. He also knows where the brunt of my anxiety comes from, and I think that understanding helps with a lot.
He has this undeniable ability to make me belly laugh until I snort when I want nothing more than to curl up and scream or cry. That’s talent.
We work together, and have an ongoing joke that we are Jim and Pam from “The Office”. It’s not really a joke though, he is my real life Jim Halpert with all of the bells and whistles. If you watch that show or know anything about it, you’ll know how absolutely special that is. We compliment each other very well. We were the best of friends, long before we were anything else. Having a similar sense of humor helps too. There is not a single moment of a single day, that I don’t know how much he loves me, and that’s a gift that is not easy to come by. Even when I drive him crazy.
Kent is the anchor that reminds me that everything is going to be alright. My brain may not acknowledge it, but deep down I know. He picks up the slack when I struggle, without being asked. We are a team, even on the days I insist on doing everything myself.
So, I guess the answer is having medication, a fair amount of stubbornness, and my real life Jim Halpert.