Prime Mom

I’m from a small town. A very small town. The main place to congregate while I was in high school was the parking lot of the local Piggly WIggly. That was mostly because it was the only store in town. The next town over had a Walmart. No one actually LIKES to go to Walmart. When I’m forced to stop in, I can be found curled up in a ball crying in the corner. I get anxiety just driving passed one. I don’t think I’m alone in this.

I don’t know how or why but that store is a succubus, it’s kills your soul and sucks the life right out of you. People just aren’t pleasant when they go there. Maybe it was my limited shopping options, but I never understood the Target obsession either. I’m pretty sure I just made people gasp. Calm down, I’ve been there, it’s a decent place to shop, but have you tried Amazon Prime?

Perhaps it’s my degree of laziness about shopping, or my anxiety about having to encounter the general public, but there is no greater shopping experience than Amazon Prime. I can shop from my couch, in whatever terribly embarrassing mismatched outfit I’m wearing, with day old makeup on, before I even brush my teeth. They really hooked me with the free two day shipping bit as well. Yes, I know Target has a Starbucks, but I drink my coffee as black as midnight and as strong as The Hulk, and that’s not on their menu.  My TV’s are powered by Amazon fire sticks. Basically at this point in my life I’m in a codependent relationship with Amazon. They just make it too easy…

Need something? Amazon. Too busy to shop? Amazon. Can’t find anything to watch? Amazon. Need a babysitter? Amazon.

I’m honestly not sure if I’m promoting laziness, the ease of online shopping, or antisocial behavior, but it has certainly made my life easier. I’m all about convenience and efficiency these days. So, was there a reason behind writing this? I went to Walmart against my better judgement to find colored candy melts and cookie decorations for Sassy. We get to the cookie decorations and some incredibly considerate fellow shopper had searched through the decorations to the point that it looked like the shelves threw up on themselves. We found one thing we needed. And no candy melts anywhere.

Moral of this story, I ordered the candy melts from Amazon, they will be here tomorrow when I get home from work. I knew better.